Sirius Black and the Unfortunate Godson
by Jenn the Freak
Summary: Sirius, recently freed, goes to the World cup with everybody. But he can’t hold back the annoying marauder in him any longer. In Harry’s POV. Oneshot!


Sirius Black and the Unfortunate Godson

Summary: Sirius, recently freed, goes to the World cup with everybody. But he can't hold back the annoying marauder in him any longer. In Harry's POV. Simple and short!

Dedication: To Howl for connecting Sirius' personality to my dads. And, of course, to my dad for always finding new and exciting ways to irritate me.

"Finally!" Ron's flushed face seemed to be glowing. "The world cup is here, I thought it'd never come!"

Hermione on my other side sighed, "Yes, Ron. You've said that already"

It was, indeed, finally the day of the Quidditch world cup. This being our second time going, we had invited a slightly bigger crew. Along with the Weasleys (who had won their tickets again in a fit of unyielding luck) there was Hermione, her parents, and Sirius, Remus, and me. The tickets this year were cheap, due to the unpopularity of the two teams playing. There weren't many people rooting for The Netherlands or New Zealand, but here we were! We'd gotten seats high, in hopes of looking down on the game.

We had just reached our seats when a booming voice greeted us. "Good evening, Quidditch fans!" I had just enough time to think _oh, no_, before Sirius answered from his seat to my left. "Good evening!"

The announcer, not knowing my distress, continued. "This is the minister of magic speaking, to ensure you all about the new security measures that have been in place since the World Cup years back."

"Gee, Minster, how nice of you!" Sirius yelled again, with a grin too large for his face. My eye began to twitch, and I knew once it started I'd be stuck with it for the rest of the night. Maybe if I sunk down in my seat a bit more…

"Stop, Sirius, people are staring." I whispered furiously out of the corner of my mouth. People in seats all around us were turning to see at who was making the racket. It would've been different if he weren't recently freed. People still feared him. They must think he's loony. I, on the other hand, already know that he is.

"Let me assure you that there are aurors posted at every exit and entrance, as well as patrolling the camp site. Nothing dangerous will happen." The minister's voice sounded reassuring, but Sirius worded it better.

"I hope they do a better job than before! Maybe this time they can catch a suspicious kitten!" Sirius' voice (obviously lined very heavily with sarcasm) masked the minister's, who had let the announcer begin introducing the players. The rest of the game wasn't too bad, once some select Weasleys had stopped laughing and Remus was done smirking.

By not too bad, I mean he only embarrassed me enough to keep me half sitting, half hiding. At one point Remus leaned forward and said "You know he only does it because he knows it bothers you." After a glare from me, he retreated back in his seat. Sirius' comments varied from perverted ("A broom stick isn't supposed to go there!") to stupid ("You get points by putting the quaffle THROUGH the hoop."). He finally topped it of by yelling to the Seeker while he was hovering near us.

"I see the snitch! It's to the left! No, no, my left! Oh you're all wrong!" Luckily they never found out who was yelling. When accused of such a thing, Sirius would rant. "Do you have any idea how much I went through to buy these tickets?" And the accuser would apologize, never expecting anything.

After Holland had a narrow win of 670 to 620, we retreated back to our enormous tent (which looked quite small from the inside). We were barely inside for a minute before I had retreated to my bed to hide from my godfather. However, it appeared that rest was a thing of the past.

"Ah." I heard Mr. Weasley saying. "It looks like we need more water!"

Although the covers were pulled over my head, I could almost see Sirius' ears rising with his smile as he responded to him. "Harry and I will get it, of course!" I groaned.

As Sirius was dragging me away from my ever so comforting bed (much to the amusement of my friends) I gave Mr. Weasley my best glare. "Isn't there some sort of charm for water?"

"Of course there is, but why would we use magic when there's a muggle contraption within walking distance?" My logic didn't seem to impress him, and his eyes had a confused spark to them. He followed us out the door and down the cluttered path.

Red, white, and blue decorated all the tents this year, since it happened to be the national colors for both nations. There were other tents covered in orange, which was meant to represent Holland (it was the royal family's color). For Ron, however, the color orange only fueled his imagination about the Chudley Cannons making it to the world cup.

The one mile walk to the water well seemed to last an eternity. The first five minutes or so he behaved himself. This, I realized later, was only to get my hopes up. Sirius had stuck his tongue beneath his bottom lip to give him a disfigured appearance…and the most annoying voice I'd ever heard.

"Haaaaawwy!" I tried to duck behind Mr. Weasley but Sirius grabbed my hand with a great leap. Swinging my hand around, he began to greet people with grammar worse than a toddler.

"Hewwo! We go get wa'er!" He practically screamed to his first victim, who doubled her pace to get away from us. Mr. Weasley played along. "No, Sirius. It's 'We're going to get water.'"

"WE GO GET WA'ER!" Mr. Weasley, wide eyed, conceded with a nod.

A half hour of murderous rage built up in me by the time we got to the water. Sirius acted like a normal adult enough to show Mr. Weasley how to use the pump, while I stood around the corner, pretending I didn't know them. Soon there was an eerie silence, and just when I turned to look—SPLASH!

I gasped in shock, arms out and dripping with the water they'd just gathered. After a moment I began to move again, to wipe my face off. As soon as my eyes were open, I saw a sight that would've been funny, had I not been soaking wet.

Sirius was attempting to act like a toddler with bad English again, but he was laughing too hard to succeed. His laughter went from a very high pitched bubble to several octaves lower, his normal laugh. I kept my eyes in glaring mode at him and Mr. Weasley, who was trying not to laugh.

My eye compulsively twitching, I took a couple steps forward and sent a water spell flying towards my godfathers' crotch before walking in the opposite direction towards the tent.

I thought I'd won (and my, victory _was_ sweet) when I heard him again.

"Hawwy! I went wee wee!" Sirius exclaimed happily. I thought about bolting but he read my mind and grabbed my hand again.

I was looking off to the left, away from him when I noticed a rather large, elaborate tent that looked out of place. "The ministers' tent" Mr. Weasley whispered in my ear. "I can tell by that gold symbol on the front." My eyes got large, hoping that Sirius didn't hear. He stood up straight, out of his toddler pose and my hopes were dashed.

"Let's pee on it." Completely serious, started walking toward the tent before Mr. Weasley and I grabbed his arms. He struggled, but despite our best efforts the minister himself stepped out. He saw us and grew stock still, glaring at the odd group before him. In our surprise, Sirius was able to rip himself out of our hands.

He ran up and stood before the minister for what seemed like hours deciding what to do. My eye had even stopped twitching in the cold suspense. Maybe he was still in the mood to annoy, but what he did next was the last thing I expected.

He drew his wand to point it right at the minister's chest.

After a few suspenseful seconds Sirius moved his head closer and closer to the face of his opponent, as if he was going to whisper a spell in his ear. He got close, and then stopped. I could've swore I heard a low growling before—

"BARK!" I jumped and blinked for a couple seconds, and opened my eyes to find the minister had his own wet spot suspiciously close to his crotch area.

Before I knew it we were on the run, Sirius behind Mr. Weasley and I, pushing us along.

We ran all the way back to our very own tent. We stepped in and found everybody where they were before, sitting quietly, staring at us. We must've been quite the sight; Mr. Weasley was carrying the water, only half full from all the running. Sirius' face had his trademark grin on, but it was coupled nicely by the fact that he still looked like he'd peed himself. I was panting and still half soaked by our small water fight.

I was the first to move, taking refuge by Remus. He, as the only sane one, preformed a quick drying spell on me and Mr. Weasley, deciding to let Sirius take care of his own spot. Personally, I think that Remus left it because he actually thought it was pee.

I shot him a quick look of thanks before a noise near Sirius attracted my attention. Somehow, he'd gotten the jug of water. Without hesitation he threw it up in the air, splashing everyone with what was left, and yelling in his toddler voice, "WE GOT WA'ER!"

Please review! You know you want to!

…And yes, Sirius did, in fact, bark at the minister of magic…


End file.
